Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Lately, I have been distracted a lot. Although I have maintained a lazer like focus on my job search, I have been distracted from my true life purpose. You see my life's purpose is not the specifics of what I am doing so much, but maintaining a quality of consciousness while doing it. The job search has been consuming. I am approaching it as though it were a full time job, which requires my solid attention and dedication. It is important always to be present in the moments we have and in this I have been distracted. I have not smelled the roses along the way. The peace which is as near as my breath has eluded me simply because I have been too carried away with accomplishing my task.

The buddhists talk of mindfulness, Eckhart Tolle talks about not making the present moment into a means to an end, - they are one in the same -be where you are fully - in that lies your peace. For example, as I sit and write cover letters and search websites for jobs, our cat Aria sits beside me on the desk. Occasionally she will meow and get up, blocking the computer screen. It is never very long. She is simply stretching and asking for a nice pat. Rather than get frustrated that she is blocking the screen I could surrender to the the flow of life which seems to be asking of me in that moment -- take a few moments break.

Often however, I am distracted by the pressing task before me. I must get this done NOW. But is that really true? Too easily do I lose sight of enjoying the journey. You see, frustration is a sign that we are resisting life in that moment. My frustration at Aria comes from a story that I might not finish what I'm working on soon enough or that what I am doing won't be good enough. Fear is clearly trying to come in the backdoor - but are those thoughts true? Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.

My own awakening came with the insight that I did not have to believe even my own thoughts. That they too, just come and go and I don't need to attach to them. It is possible to simply breathe occassionally as the job search continues and to remind myself what a miracle life is. It only takes remembering. It only takes remembering that our true "purpose" is not anything we do, but who we are.

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