Death

When you come death, may you be recognized and celebrated.
With your seductive face, gentle whispers,
and your unspoken promise
Let there be no fear as your steady hand
unlocks a new mystery
A mystery so vast and unfathomable that to begin to speak
of its depth is only to play the first note
in a never-ending symphony.
In you life joins hands.
May you be welcomed as a friend
for indeed you have been a companion to life
None is promised even a moment.
To exist, that is our gift.
All is so precious
The days I have shared
have been more than enough
Just this, Just this, Just this.

I witnessed from a distance a friend stoically rooted
to his family, community, the earth,
take your hand as you guided him across the threshold.
He faced you with such courage and compassion
And though his physical body shriveled as the cancer ravaged his insides
his belonging and his wholeness expanded beyond measure
We are not what we seem. There are no limits.
We all glowed in that presence.
And yet we grieve in that absence.

Death you will come for us all
And for all our scientific advances
The hour of your touch still eludes.
When the hour of your beckoning comes, may it be known that
the meaning of life, is life itself, no more, no less
May that which is here, revel, knowing that the love which came
through this, is this, played enchanting cadenzas while it lasted.
And may that which still plays be comforted by the cycle
of beauty in the inherited melody currently sung
but one day relinquished too.

Distractions

Lately, I have been distracted a lot. Although I have maintained a lazer like focus on my job search, I have been distracted from my true life purpose. You see my life's purpose is not the specifics of what I am doing so much, but maintaining a quality of consciousness while doing it. The job search has been consuming. I am approaching it as though it were a full time job, which requires my solid attention and dedication. It is important always to be present in the moments we have and in this I have been distracted. I have not smelled the roses along the way. The peace which is as near as my breath has eluded me simply because I have been too carried away with accomplishing my task.

The buddhists talk of mindfulness, Eckhart Tolle talks about not making the present moment into a means to an end, - they are one in the same -be where you are fully - in that lies your peace. For example, as I sit and write cover letters and search websites for jobs, our cat Aria sits beside me on the desk. Occasionally she will meow and get up, blocking the computer screen. It is never very long. She is simply stretching and asking for a nice pat. Rather than get frustrated that she is blocking the screen I could surrender to the the flow of life which seems to be asking of me in that moment -- take a few moments break.

Often however, I am distracted by the pressing task before me. I must get this done NOW. But is that really true? Too easily do I lose sight of enjoying the journey. You see, frustration is a sign that we are resisting life in that moment. My frustration at Aria comes from a story that I might not finish what I'm working on soon enough or that what I am doing won't be good enough. Fear is clearly trying to come in the backdoor - but are those thoughts true? Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.

My own awakening came with the insight that I did not have to believe even my own thoughts. That they too, just come and go and I don't need to attach to them. It is possible to simply breathe occassionally as the job search continues and to remind myself what a miracle life is. It only takes remembering. It only takes remembering that our true "purpose" is not anything we do, but who we are.